Choosing Joy
I ought to name a daughter or a cat Patience...so I'd have some in my life.Joy, I've got. We all do. Sometimes you have to work at it, though.
I don't want to go to bed, in case I miss something. But what happens at 3:00 in the morning other than labor (not an experience I've had--labor that is), sudden stomach ailments or bad TV? Then I either wake up without enough sleep, or I oversleep and am behind and cranky for the rest of the day.
I procrastinate. A lot.
I hate to work out, and I really, really need to.
I'm forty years old and I really want a baby (adopted or biological...either one will be just fine).
I've recently sold my house (which I loved), quit my job (ditto), left my family, friends and choir (double ditto) and moved halfway across the world to follow my new husband.So I have lots of things I can whine about.
But...
I believe we are each responsible for our own emotions to a great extent...I choose to be happy, or choose to be pissed off, or choose to be embarrassed when my husband sings to me, off-key, at the top of his lungs in a public place. I may not always achieve happiness, but I'm a lot more likely to get close if I've chosen happiness than if I've chosen to be sad or upset or angry or whatever. And no, I'm not talking about depression, which is not a choice, and is a very real and very serious illness -- I'm talking about taking personal responsibility for myself and my emotions on a regular, day-to-day basis, barring medical issues. I refuse to dump the responsibility for my bad days onto others or "Them" or "the world," and I'm not giving anyone else credit for my good days, either.
Thus my mantra--I do my very best to consciously choose joy.
Every.
Single.
Damn.
Day.
And you know what? I really love Japan, and I really love my husband, and I really love my life. Even though sometimes, all those things are hard to love. So am I, when it comes down to it.
Stick around. I'll whine pretty often, sure. But then I will find a silver lining. Or die trying.
posted by Carolie @ 1:53 PM
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