Saturday, October 04, 2008

Socially Awkward Moment

Lori posted recently about a socially awkward moment she (and several others) experienced. Then she asked for her readers to relate their own most awkward moment. Not sure if this qualifies, as the only people present (well the only ones in hearing range) were me and the guy, but this is probably my most jaw-dropping socially awkward moment:

I had been dating a guy off and on while in college. I was a student, he was a "townie" and we'd finally broken up for good (or so I thought). He left notes and flowers on my car and in my mailbox several times over the course of a couple of weeks, begging for another chance. Finally, I agreed to go out on another date with him -- dinner and a movie.

We went out for pizza, had a pleasant, though very casual, dinner, and then headed to the movies. He drove and drove, way out into the countryside. I had no idea where we were headed. Finally, he turned down a gravel road. Turns out he'd taken me to a p*rn drive-in movie. It took me a few minutes to realize what was happening on that HUUUUUGE movie screen...and when I did figure it out, I was frozen with horror and amusement (mostly horror). He turned in the seat to face me, and as I struggled to find my voice, to ask to be taken home, he pulled a ring box out of his pocket...

And he proposed.

Marriage.

"Will you marry me?"...his arm outstretched, tiny diamond sparkling against black velvet...face half-lit with the flickering light of the silver screen rathe than candle flame, with a background sound-track, not of soft classical music or quiet guitar chords, but *boom-chicka-wa-wa* and "Oh baybee, oh baybee, oh yes, yes, YES!"

I laughed so hard, I almost fell out of the car. I laughed until tears streamed down my cheeks and I was gasping for breath. Yes, I know, any proposal is a big leap of faith for the proposer, and should be accepted with joy or rejected gently, with sympathy and kindness. But seriously -- a proposal at a P*RN FLICK?? Can you see telling such a story, at your 50th wedding anniversary "Kids, your granddad was so romantic...he proposed at the skin flick drive-in!"

He put the ring back in his pocket, and took me home, highly offended by my laughter (and I did feel bad that I laughed in the face of his earnest proposal). But honestly, I could only laugh hysterically or scream in horror.

I never saw him again, thank God. Although I am still just a little curious as to where the driv-in movie actually was. Wonder if it still exists, and whether fundamentalist farmers drive miles out of their way to avoid that particular road (and possible glimpses of the movie screen) on certain nights?

3 Comments:

At 10/04/2008 4:36 PM, Anonymous Superfantastic said...

OH MY GOD. Yes, that counts. That more than counts. Proposed to at a drive-in porn theater! That is priceless. And so very, very awkward.

 
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At 11/25/2008 3:56 AM, Anonymous Susie said...

Hey Carolie,
Too funny....and awkward!

I just tagged you on my blog. Feel free to either pass it on or pass on it altogether :)

Hope you're well, Happy Thanksgiving- we'll miss you from the farmette this weekend.

 

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