Saturday, July 01, 2006

Just a Little Space

Fearless Husband is home, and that's a good thing. I've missed him while he was at sea, and am enjoying spending time together. We worked it out, and in the 18 months we've been married, we've spent a grand total of 4 months actually in each other's company.

Wow.

But today, my friend Miyuki came by with her mom (who speaks NO English) and whisked me off for an incredible meal at a yakiniku restaurant, shopping at the base commissary (sshhhh...don't tell!) and shopping at the great big Japanese grocery store in the huge JUSCO department store. I had a blast, trying new foods, talking with Miyuki, talking to Miyuki's mother through Miyuki, having the two of them try to explain what everything was in the Japanese grocery and how to fix it, etc. They were astonished that I don't have the ingredients as pantry staples to make miso soup from scratch, and helped load me up with bonito flakes for dashi, dried wakame seaweed, Japanese tofu, miso, and "shells", which look like fat-shelled little bitty clams to me. We also loaded up on cute candy and snacks to add to my box o' birthday gifts that I'm sending back to the US. I figured my nieces haven't lived until they've had Hello Kitty brand dried fish chips.

"But...but...your husband is home!" cried my friend via IM. "How could you actually choose not to be together? What did he do all day?"

Hmmm.

He played video games. He took a nap. He ate leftover homemade pizza. He probably scratched and farted, but I don't want to know. Basically, after spending ungodly amounts of time on a very big boat with very small quarters shared with about 2,000 sailors, sleeping on a shelf, he really enjoyed being able to stretch out and not touch any walls. He reveled in being completely and totally alone.

And I get that. Because I need that, too.

So when I got home, we had adventures to tell one another (well, I did...and I pretended to listen as he told me about his video game triumphs). We were thrilled to see each other. He was way more relaxed than he had been. We both had a wonderful day--and choosing to have that day apart doesn't take anything away from our love of each other. Adventures apart only add to the richness of our life together.

Being married doesn't mean joined-at-the-hip, thank God.