Sunday, August 06, 2006

Sometimes, It's Difficult

FH got the news yesterday that he didn't make chief. We pretty much knew the chances of him making it this time were very slim, and we both know his chances will be much better next time...but we were still disappointed. I'm proud of him though, and of all of his accomplishments over the past year. He's a good man, and very good at his job. There is no shame in not making it this year.

The one guy from his department who did make it is a great guy. We all knew that if anyone was going to do it, this guy would. He really does deserve it.

But despite all that logical, rational stuff...emotionally, I want to rant and rave. I want to find some reason to be mad at the guy who made it. I want to find some reason to say "it isn't fair!" I resent his promotion, and I'm mad at him, as if he did something to me, personally.

Why are we humans like that? Why do we get angry when something good happens to others, shooting evil glances at a coworker who got an extra day of vacation, or a raise due to her good work? Her hard work, and her good fortune, does not affect us--and yet, we aren't just angry at the situation, we're angry at the friend or family member or coworker with good fortune, or who gets a well-deserved reward. Even as teenagers, if something good happened to one of our friends, we would say "Oh, you're sooooo lucky! I hate you!" Yet, if good things happen for us, we'd hope our friends would be happy for our successes and joys.

Sure, it's valid to be angry or upset or regretful about a situation. But jealousy is really ugly, and being angry with those that succeed where you fail is petty.

I'm going to work hard at being happy for FH's coworker and friend. His success doesn't affect FH in the slightest, after all. I'll continue to strive to find joy in the successes, rewards and good fortune of others. If I can get past my own jealousy, I am very pleased when good things happen to good people.

Sometimes, though, it's really difficult.